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Sent: Friday, January 27, 2006 9:57 AM
Subject: A poem doesn't have to look like a poem, it needs to look
like a poem sounds.
A poem doesn't have to
look
like a
poem,
it needs to
look
like a poem
sounds.
Juicers,
Stephen,
Where I've written "Stephen," you'd start a
wrapping letter around the sheet of paper on which is your narrow-cast
(personal) "blab" to Corwin. I grabbed it out of it's digest just to model this
way of doing blabs with wrappers for the MOAPG items carry over in 20006. Before
I saw Corwin's egoless and excited use of what you'd set down, I
was going to fit the example in just as "to a new" poet" so it wouldn't get
lost. This would have been easy up at the top, just replacing "Corwin," with
"[MOAPGer],". I was going to suggest that you replace his poem with one of
yours, saying you're using yours, to illustrate. I was going to model this
for you by using my "by / old poto / mac" example - which is great
because even when you know the poem, you can hear the word "Potomac" fade in as
"mac" is played ...even though you knew it was coming. That sort of
residual magic doesn't come often. Anyway, all of that was, of course, just to
protect somebody, particularly somebody knew from bein' an "example". Blabs as
I've been thinking of them don't do that. You're talking to everybody. But
things like this should be grab-able. Corwin's response (which I saw yesterday)
was great and I proceed, in this model, a model of a grab
and a wrapper, assuming you c'n get his
go-ahead.
You can use this model to get the format to
work with without having to be able to plug in a table and all in the source,
which I do regularly in Outlook Express for Windows but know you can't in
Outlook for windows and Gawd knows about any other mailers. Anyway, in Outlook
Express you can do this working only on text. I found one to use among my
sendings to you. I forget even what it was, but what I had on the sheet of paper
(in the box) was a hefty text. I found in "erasing" it, I had to delete a
paragraph or so at a time. Best to do that anyway, carefully. You want a line in
there to Paste what you're bringing in. Here, of course, I've done that. You
simply work on the text in the box. And you simply work in this text. You can
push my letter to you down and start your wrapper above it, gradually, or all at
once, erasing my text.
Oh, you're working in a Forward file from
what you received from me. So, erase the Fwd: from the Subject line and the
whole header from my mailing, right down to the empty line just above the
sounded subject, and mail it to Juice online (yourself). Then, Forward-button
that (to get that heading) and save that to an HTML file.
What's your wrapper
do?
You don't want to make what was a note to
one person just available, but you want to make it more usable, more "how to"
and specific. One start is in doing something like I did in the example below
(after fixing up the spaces in the printing), which is to boldface the phrases
that talk about doing something. You do that well in your note and I pulled two
chunks out with bold. I've further pulled out, with italics, the last part of
the first chunk, "as a voice would" - because that's
the key here, leap-frogging over that e-poets stuff about "projective verse" and
Olson, Williams, Cummings (though Cummings was a trigger for Corwin) and the
great sea of reading we've all got to do before we c'n be more than mildly
interesting to e-poets.... Anybody who's ever tried to persuade anybody about
anything knows how a voice 'd do it. Sort of.
The whole thing, though is what made itself
grab-able. You start out with those "three" that, as an abstract list, shaped up
to be comprehensive, would put people to sleep. That's why blabs, notes, are
what we want. Here just three sample things from right now. But each represents
ways of getting trapped. A common "empty convention". That's "A." - which tugs
it out of a series, turns the series to a list, each item isolated. Then, "B."
is really important. If you're going to, in the wrapper, just comment on each,
say a bit about why you thought of it, and then point outward at the kinds of
problems, you can use B to point up that it's easy to drift into a poem without
really knowing how you want to punctuate (in the larger sense) the
thing. Drifting into a poem, it's easy to get pieces of sentences in one place
and pieces of lines in others sand make a hodgepodge. Prose marks, white space
and line-breaks, even tags, every thing that sorts the words out, even word
order, is helping you, and your listener, pace the delivery. Corwin's
given you a wonderful chance to talk about that. You c'n tell him, let it come,
play it as you get it, but one thing in reading back over it is smoothing it out
a little. Later, you fit a new piece to what's already down while you're playing
without thinking too much about it, you just remember what you're doing
while you do it. And "C.".... Ahhhh, there's everything we've been doing with
line-breaks bein' more "real" than, and creating, "lines", with "line stacking"
and, then, "line placing".
Your intuiting what you wanted him to
hear was, to me kind of awesome, which is why I grabbed this thing on
sight. And all that from the "three difficulties" was just a riverbed in
which I then read on down and it was just now that I pulled it up to the top and
thought it through. So that's why some of that thinking through opens it up so
it doesn't just seem like "paper correcting" comments vaguely hinting at that
sea of reading out there.
Then, you can show how you bounced off the
projective verse and poets reference to pull out a central thread, the "as a
voice would", and get through to the "it needs to look like a poem sounds" and
to the doing it and, hell, when you're talking about this in the
wrapper tell the Juice reader, "grab one of your own and take a crack at,
imagining you're in a noisy coffee house with an open mike and make 'em
listen to it."
THEN, go back to the projective verse,
Olson, Williams and, especially, Cummings ...and tell a little about it and
them, show how you grabbed that thread and pulled it loose. Don't throw away the
idea of investigating, but don't cast 'em into a sea without some seafarin'
skills.
Well, that's it. I was just going to set up
a kind of template to do blabs in, same as I've been talking about for most of
2005. Then, I read your response to Corwin and thought, "Jeeze, you know there's
hidden blabs, just lost in..., well whatever. So, I'll sign off, as a voice
would...,
Gene
Message: 11 (Digest 2143) Date: Sun, 22
Jan 2006 19:22:30 -0600 From: Stephen Morse < smorse@sigafoos.net> Subject:
Re: New Member New Poem Corwin, You've
made a difficult poem even more difficult by:
A. Using a meaningless convention ( capitalizing the first
letter of
each line)
B. Mixing conventional punctuation (commas) with lines that
weren't
punctuated.
C. The lines seemed to stop and end without any sense of
ear.
Are you familiar with projective
verse? If not, you should investigate
it. Charles Olson, W C Williams, and ee cummings all used
it to help
make their work more understandable, as a voice
would. I did a
quick reformatting below (assuming your mailer will hold it) as
an
example of how I might do this with my voice. A poem
doesn't have
to look like a poem, it needs to look like a poem
sounds.
Best,
Stephen
On Jan 22, 2006,
at 3:12 PM, Corwin wrote:
> Title: Ways
>
> Author: Corwin E.
Jefferson
>
>
> Ways
>
> Forget
all
> All
> that
is
>
for
getting
> Give
>
to
bar
>
gain
>
Empty
> cup
full
> Naked
> new clothes
> and
bare
> Emperor of
scarcity
> Strip, scrape, clear, clean
> To
detach
> Covet
> precious stones
>
Light
>
Crowns
>
robes, bliss?
> Or
> Nihility,
absorption
> Unmaking to be
made
>
Unmade Or Remade?
> One
> The road to
much
> One is the
road
>
not
>
many
> One
> Narrow
>
Way.
>
>
> Author's
Comments:
>
> This poem was written when learning about
nihilistic religious
> thought in college. Christian, myself,
I thought of Christ's
> impartation to lose ones life in order
to gain
it.
>
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